Saturday, September 20th I had the strangest dream.
It started as an ordinary night. I was laying in bed sleeping. All of a sudden it felt as if someone was underneath my bed pushing it up. The movement kept getting stronger. I tried to yell "stop" but nothing would come out. I tried again. Still nothing. The next thing I know is that it feels like someone is taking my breath away and feel a heavy weight on my chest. I could hardly breath.
I wake up and am sitting on my bed looking around. I just had the strangest feeling.
Sunday morning I went to breakfast with my dad, Ron and the boys. I did not mention the dream until later that day when Ron and I were heading to Pagosa Springs for the week. His response was just wow.
I start thinking was my dream the sense of smothering that I feel when I am around him? Who knows.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Have you ever thought about
Have you ever wondered why people enter your lives at a certain point?
I think that people appear in your life at the life when God thinks you need that little nudge to make a move.
Take for instance you run into an old friend and realize that you let something die you never should have whether it was romantic or just a friendship that will never be like it was.
You meet someone that you have an instant connection with but situations keep you apart.
You meet someone that just makes you smile from deep within when you are at a point when you think you will never smile again.
You meet someone that seems to be a total ass to the world but yet you take the time to get to know this person and realize they are just as scared as you are in life and the ass they show to the world is their security blanket.
You meet someone who is a sweetheart of a person but feels that the world hates them. You try to encourage them and wonder if you were placed in there life to help them in one way or another.
I guess its just the way things happen. People come into your life and leave just as quickly whether you are ready for them to or not.
I think that people appear in your life at the life when God thinks you need that little nudge to make a move.
Take for instance you run into an old friend and realize that you let something die you never should have whether it was romantic or just a friendship that will never be like it was.
You meet someone that you have an instant connection with but situations keep you apart.
You meet someone that just makes you smile from deep within when you are at a point when you think you will never smile again.
You meet someone that seems to be a total ass to the world but yet you take the time to get to know this person and realize they are just as scared as you are in life and the ass they show to the world is their security blanket.
You meet someone who is a sweetheart of a person but feels that the world hates them. You try to encourage them and wonder if you were placed in there life to help them in one way or another.
I guess its just the way things happen. People come into your life and leave just as quickly whether you are ready for them to or not.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
How things change
Who would have ever thought that one morning I would decide that the life I have been living for the past 18 and a half years may not be what I really want. So I am venturing on my own.
On September 3, 2008 I signed a lease for a one bedroom apartment. I will be here for a minimum of six months. Who knows where I will be after that point or what I will want.
I basically walked away from the life that I have known for the last 18 and a half years. No one to go home to. No one to take care of. Just taking care of myself. I should not say I am not taking care of anyone - I still am making sure all the bills are being paid and there are groceries at the house.
Its just kind of strange to not see your kids every day or hear from them. Even though when we were all in the same house we may have only spoke in passing as we were running out the door to whatever we may have thought was important to do.
Over the last year I have met some interesting people and have thought a lot about what I want my future to be and who I want in that future with me. Those answers are still not that clear.
On September 3, 2008 I signed a lease for a one bedroom apartment. I will be here for a minimum of six months. Who knows where I will be after that point or what I will want.
I basically walked away from the life that I have known for the last 18 and a half years. No one to go home to. No one to take care of. Just taking care of myself. I should not say I am not taking care of anyone - I still am making sure all the bills are being paid and there are groceries at the house.
Its just kind of strange to not see your kids every day or hear from them. Even though when we were all in the same house we may have only spoke in passing as we were running out the door to whatever we may have thought was important to do.
Over the last year I have met some interesting people and have thought a lot about what I want my future to be and who I want in that future with me. Those answers are still not that clear.
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