Can anyone explain to me?

When you get married, the traditional marriage vows are something like:
“I, take you, to be my (wife/husband), to have and behold from this day on, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; until death do us part.”

Most of us have no issue with the vows but it seems that there came a point in my marriage that the part about to love and to cherish seemed to slip away. No one person is to blame. It took two to have it happen. Things were taken for granted. Things that should never have stopped did. Basically instead of growing together, we grew apart. Where do you start to get that back? That is the question that seems neither one of us can answer or is willing to answer.

I wonder how can someone who is supposed to love and cherish you say they love you but do nothing to prove it to you. Then you have someone else who has not made any commitment to you; show you things that you were lacking in your relationship. Simple things like when you are crying to comfort you, no questions asked, just holding you tight against their chest. A gentle kiss when they first see you, before saying good bye or just because they feel like it.

I also know that in the last 6 months or longer I have not shown my love either. Sometimes you get to a point where you give and give but do not see anything happening so wonder why. You wonder what you could have done to make your spouse not want to show you they love and cherish you. You wonder how you can become more of a fixture around the house than a major part of someone’s life. You question whether or not you are valued in the relationship for the person you are versus just for your physical presence.

These are just a few of the thoughts I have running through my mind these days. The answers aren’t apparent. Eventually they will have to be.

A few things I do know. The things that have changed since September are that we talk less and see each other less. These things were expected. It also appears that the distance between us seems to be widening, this was not expected. Basically there has been no real effort from either of us. I will not take the lead. I figure if the relationship is important enough then something will be done to try to improve it otherwise I know that it must not have mattered.