Carings does not equal love

April 7th came and went. Technically it was mine and Ron's 19th wedding anniversary. It was a pretty typical day just like any other one. I was not real emotional.

I did receive a call from Ron about 10 pm but did not talk to him for more than a minute. The extent of our conversation was:
R) What are you doing?
T) Talking on the other line.
R) I can let you go if you would like.
T) That's fine.
R) Good bye.
T) Good bye.

I could have talked to him but I am tired of him thinking its okay to call me late at night and expect me to talk. Its not right. It just shows the lack of respect he has for me. I know you can't demand respect from someone and that you have to earn it. I do not think there is enough time in this lifetime for that to happen.

A few weeks ago we had a decent texting conversation but he would not answer me on a hard question. The question was, "Are you ready to move on?" There is some confusion on both our parts as to the difference between loving someone and caring for someone. A friend recently told me that people sometimes confuse caring for someone with loving them. I agree with that.

My mission now to determine the difference between caring for someone and loving them. If you look up care in the dictionary it will basically say it is to be interested in or show concern for someone or something. Love one the other hand is to feel romantic and sexual desire and longing for somebody. There are more definitions but those are the basics.

Most women agree that men think the sex is showing that you love someone. I do not believe that. You can have sex with someone and not be in love with them, but there is a difference of having sex with someone you have feelings for and someone that you don't. If you have never had a one night stand then you can't relate.

I am supposed to be thinking about things to help me move on whether it is with Ron, Ben or someone else. The biggest thing with Ron is what is keeping me in our sick twisted relationship and with Ben is what is holding me back from giving myself openly to him. These things will need to be answered and will be.