Baby steps turn to leaps

On April 24th I basically gave the truck and all the related expenses back to Ron. When there had been discussion about selling the truck in the past, the response I would get was I always wanted a lifted one ton diesel truck. Now he has it and can figure out how to pay for it. I have struggled with making the payments, insurance, and fuel since September. I decided it was not worth it to me. It is such a relief - I should have done it months ago.

I had mentioned before that change was coming whether people like it or not and if necessary those changes will be forced. I have switched the mailing address to the house for the bills that he should be paying. Requested a specific dollar amount to be paid towards other bills and also informed him that if that does not happen the bills will not get paid. It is time that he learn to live on a budget and pay his way.

He seems to think I want to take everything away from him and that I don't want him to have anything nice. Lets see he is living in the house that we built with my family, has the nice furniture, has the kids, the birds, the dog and decent vehicles. The nice car I have my dad bought, the furniture I have is basically things we had bought second hand, the kids don't come see me very often and I can't even go to the house without his consent. I see it a lot different than he does but I have never put myself first.

I am trying to get him to see reality. I have informed him that during a divorce everything will be split so if things have to be sold then that is what needs to happen. Things that are going away are because of both of us.

One of the issues I see that we had in our relationship was that my feelings and wants basically never mattered. It was pretty much what Ron and the kids wanted they got. Now I am standing up for myself and not letting him tell me how things are going to be. Just like with the finances - when it benefits him he is OK with it but if he thinks I am getting something more then he does not want it. I am standing my ground on this.

I had to chuckle to myself about a comment that was made to me, something on the order that I don't want to email you because I don't want it on your blog. Lets see, is that someone trying to censor me or still try to control me? Basically I will write what I feel when I feel it and no one is going to stop me.

I am excited for Ben. He is looking to purchase a house - he is tired of apartment living. He is looking at things realistically and not trying to purchase something to impress anyone but make himself happy. He is looking at possibly getting a roommate or two. His best friend is considering moving in.

These baby steps are changing to leaps not only for me but for Ben and Ron. We will see how it all pans out.