Recently I have been thinking that relationships and cars have a lot in common. A car needs to be maintained regularly in order to keep it running like the day you drove it off the lot and to ensure that it will be there for you every day. Relationships need that same attention but since there is not an owners manual or a how to manual, things get neglected.
From the day you meet someone and think there is the potential for something more to develop, you immediately start giving that relationship attention or as others would say trying to impress. There are phones calls, emails, texts, little notes, dates, hugs and kisses but that seems to disappear when the relationship is established and seems solid. Those things that helped build the relationship don’t happen. Things are taken for granted. Wants are not listened to. Needs are not met. Eventually the relationship breaks down.
Just like with a car, if the engine starts making noises and you do not look into it, more damage is caused. If that noise would have been looked at when it was first noticed then the damage may have been less. Something that was minor at the time will turn into a major overhaul.
When a relationship starts to veer off in the wrong direction and nothing is done about it, the harder it is to get it back on the right track and the more work it takes to fix it. When there is the first indication that the relationship is out of alignment, things need to be looked from both people in the relationship. Things will not work if one person is trying and the other does not realize anything is wrong. Things also do not work when neither person is willing to acknowledge there is a problem and voice their concerns.
When issues start developing, whether it seems like a big deal or not, someone has to step up and take action to try to remedy the situation and get the other person on board. If not, just like a car, sometimes the damage is too bad to fix. I wonder if the damage to the marriage is too late to fix. Are we willing to work towards a solution? Is the time it takes to repair the relationship going to be given? Or is the time away from the relationship going to make it more difficult? These are the things I have no answers for.
On a shower curtain I made for my sister in law for Valentine's day it says "Love is the key to the heart." When that key is lost it is harder to replace than when you loose the keys to your car.
I wonder is the key to a successful relationship, to never stop dating no matter what? Always keep trying to impress? Who knows?
